Sup’ everybody, it’s Z. I’ve only written on this blog on one occasion; and my fiancee (the rightful owner of this blog), is continuously egging for me to do a write up.
So, the wedding. It’s a big day and we’re spending big money, so I can’t say that I’m not looking forward to that. But first, let’s go off topic.
“Hantaran”
This is something people keep b*tchin’ about. I’ve said before that it’s not compulsory, sure, but it’s a gauge. A gauge on how f*ckin’ manly you are. To the grooms that keep griping on how expensive it is to get married, here’s a reality check: it is. Some people are not quite well-off, you can’t really tick them for asking for a lesser “hantaran”, but I have friends that work their socks off to make a big bang on their big day. But for the rest of us that has an average income, welcome. It’s expensive for a reason. You wanna make the event a success. You wanna entertain and feed people good food. You wanna do your part in delivering justice to the society. Marriage is not a one up-manship, it’s a one down-manship. Whoever said that you become a king or queen on your wedding day, was absolutely right. If you think being a king or queen means sitting down and getting people to polish your toenails, you’d be better off living on Game of Thrones. Being a king or queen means you have to serve the people, and not the other way around. People forget that for some reason.
“Life after marriage”
Most people only think of the big day. Hold on to your pants; i said most. Do you foresee what happens after a marriage? Every marriage has wedding vows. Can you keep your vows till death do you part? Are you ready to shoulder the responsibility of being a leader, a father/mother, to be in charge of a single, independent unit, provide for your spouse and children, giving unrequited love, physically, mentally and physically?
Because if you’re getting married so you can look forward to your wedding, or for some other reason, I’ve got bad news for you. Your marriage isn’t gonna last. Like I said, marriage is a one-down manship. To fully commit to a life that will be, trust me, a lot different from going to bars late at night and having a beer with your buddies or going on spa treatments and shopping trips or overseas holidays twice a year, will be emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. By committing in marriage, you’re giving up on all your life’s simple pleasures, trading that as a human right to a human privilege. It’s sad but it’s also true. If you can’t give up on that, you’re probably gonna make a huge mistake walking down that aisle.
Finances
This will be a major part of your life. When you’re married, you’re now legally responsible BY LAW, to provide for your wife and family. You’re gonna pay for your utilities, your combined phone bills, your groceries, your food, daily expenditures, all that, because you’re now the head honcho. You can’t say no, because that would be sh*tty of you and you’ll look like a prude. You might also have to give up on your wardrobe shopping and trade them for dad and mom jeans, or you’re gonna have to do shopping at John Little or Giordano. Sure, by all means if you’re financially stable enough and you’re an Armani man by right of fashion, go on to Giorgio’s and do your thing. But if your family is gonna have to cut back on food and supplies just so mommy can buy a new Prada bag, I suggest you wake the f*ck up.
“Educating your children”
I really feel this is the most important part of my piece. In my line of work, I get to see so many children and young adults at risk. And when I say at risk, I mean children that are brought up in a broken home.
My father has always reminded me that education is the most crucial rung of the ladder towards the upper echelons of society. And he was right. But he was also very mindful about other kinds of education that were basically non-secular. That would mean life skills, religious studies and basic manners. These are as significant as any vital education your child can receive.
My mother once told me about my cousin that his mom did everything for him, until he had to serve NS and he didn’t know how to wash his own underwear. He had to pay one of his platoon mates to wash his underwear for one dollar a piece. Does your kid have to go through that in life? Or could you educate him early on by making him wash his own sh*t at a young age the hard way, so he doesn’t look like a complete dork at 18?
Drawing on this lesson, when I was 18 and had to serve my national service, i pre-empted that there are gonna be people like that, so I bought 50 hangers and tried to sell them off to people that didn’t bring in hangers.
But I also drew from another lesson my mom taught me and that was to share, so in the end I just gave it away to people who didn’t have them. Complete education? I thought so too.
I bet you can find tons of blogs that can tell you what to do for your wedding, the long haul months before your wedding, on your wedding day itself and whatever else you can just probably Google if you’re not too sure.
But I think it won’t be so easy to realistically bring you to life after all that. It’s just a piece of the weirdest part of my mind in a nutshell, and i hope people aren’t gonna be offended by how my mind works. Have a blissful and prosperous wedding and life after that.
Signing off,
Z.
